Family Mediation Support

What Family Mediation Is and Who It Suits

The Family Mediation Council's Code of Practice defines mediation as a process in which those involved in a family relationship breakdown appoint an impartial third person, a mediator, to help them communicate better and reach their own agreed and informed decisions. Nobody decides for you.

GOV.UK says you need an accredited mediator from the Family Mediation Council register, and the Family Procedure Rules define an authorised family mediator as a person the Council identifies as qualified to conduct a MIAM. Participation is voluntary and must be the free choice of each participant at all times, so mediation needs both of you to agree to take part. It is not relationship counselling.

The Code says mediation may cover any or all of:

• arrangements for dependent children, and other aspects of parental responsibility such as schooling, holidays or religious education
• the future of the family home and other property or assets, including pensions, child and spousal maintenance, and debts
• how adjustments to these arrangements are to be decided upon in the future

What the Mediator Does and Does Not Do

The mediator manages the process and can give you information about the law, but cannot tell you what it means for you personally. The Code requires the mediator to remain neutral as to the outcome, not to attempt to predict what a court would do, and to make clear that they are not giving advice. With your consent the mediator may say that a proposal might fall outside the parameters a court might approve: a prompt to take advice, not a substitute for it.

The Code also requires the mediator to advise you that it is in your own interests to seek independent legal advice before reaching any final agreement, and to warn you of the risks if you do not. Meetings are commonly held without lawyers, but your solicitor may be invited to take part if both of you agree and the mediator considers it appropriate.

What you say is protected in two ways. The mediator must not disclose information from the MIAM or the mediation to anyone, including the court, without the express consent of each participant, a court order or an overriding legal duty. And before mediation starts you both agree in writing that the discussions are without prejudice: not to be referred to in any legal proceedings, with the mediator not required to give evidence. Two limits matter. Factual financial information must be provided on an open basis, and neither protection covers communications indicating that a child or other person is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm.

Children, Finances and Disclosure in Mediation

In a dispute about children the mediator must have particular regard to the children's welfare and encourage you both to consider their wishes and feelings. GOV.UK lists what mediation can help parents agree: where the children live, time with each parent, other contact and living costs.

Child inclusive mediation goes a step further. The Code says all children and young people aged 10 and above should be offered the opportunity to have their voices heard directly during the mediation, if they wish. It happens only where the mediator and both parents agree, the child consents, and the mediator is specifically trained and registered to consult children. The child meets the mediator alone, decides what is passed on, and is offered confidentiality subject to any safety concern. The parents still make the decisions.

In a financial mediation the mediator must inform you of the need to give full and frank disclosure of all material relevant to the issues, and give each of you the opportunity to question the other's disclosure. The mediator must also make clear that they do not verify what either of you provides, that each of you may take independent legal advice on whether it is adequate, that a court may require a sworn statement or oral evidence, and that authoritative child maintenance calculations can only be made by the Child Maintenance Service.

The problems we see most often:

• disclosure that is incomplete or late; where assets may be hidden, see hidden assets and non-disclosure
• an imbalance of power: the Code requires the mediator to seek to prevent manipulative, threatening or intimidating behaviour, to redress any imbalance as far as possible, and to terminate the mediation if it cannot be made fair
• a proposal to settle the finances for good without advice: only a court order, such as a clean break order, can stop the issues being raised again

How the Family Mediation Process Works

1. Each of you attends a mediation information and assessment meeting, or MIAM, separately. The mediator explains the out of court routes, assesses any risk of domestic abuse or harm to a child, and indicates which route may suit the dispute. Our MIAM advice page covers the exemptions and the court form.
2. You take advice before the first session, so your proposals start from what the law provides.
3. You sign the agreement to mediate. The Code requires a written agreement covering the terms, the without prejudice basis and the mediator's fees before any substantive issue is dealt with.
4. The sessions follow, over a series of meetings, in person or by video. The mediator will usually see you together, but you should be offered the choice to meet separately.
5. In a financial case you each provide disclosure on an open basis. We review it between sessions and advise on each proposal before you commit.
6. When you reach agreement the mediator puts it in writing. That document is not legally binding on its own.
7. For finances we draft a consent order and apply to the court, which examines a summary of your circumstances before making any order; the fee is on the GOV.UK court fees page. For children, the Children Act 1989 says a court shall not make an order unless doing so would be better for the child than making no order at all, so many parents record a parenting plan and seek a child arrangements order only where needed.

If mediation ends without agreement you keep every other route. You can apply to the court, and where you attended a non-court dispute resolution process about the same dispute in the four months before the application, the MIAM requirement does not apply if you give the court written confirmation of attendance from the provider. Solicitor led negotiation, a round table meeting and family arbitration also remain open.

Help With the Cost of Mediation

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme is a time limited Ministry of Justice scheme that provides a contribution towards mediation sessions, not the MIAM, in a dispute about a child or a financial dispute running alongside one. The mediator assesses eligibility at the MIAM and applies for the funding, which is paid to the mediator once the sessions conclude; vouchers are limited in number and one contribution is made per family or case. The current terms are on the GOV.UK voucher scheme page.

RakLAW Solicitors does not offer legal aid. Legal aid for mediation is available from legal aid providers if you are financially eligible, and a privately funded mediator who becomes aware that you may qualify must tell you. Our work is privately funded, as set out on our family law fees page.

When Legal Advice Is Especially Important

Advice from a solicitor alongside mediation, or instead of it, matters most where:

• there has been domestic abuse, including coercive and controlling behaviour: the mediator must assess safety at the MIAM and throughout, and must not mediate where mediation is not safe or suitable; evidence of domestic abuse is a MIAM exemption, our domestic abuse and injunctions pages cover protective orders, and in immediate danger call 999 (the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247)
• the finances include a pension, a business, property abroad or a trust interest, or you doubt the other person's disclosure, which the mediator does not verify
• there is a risk that a child will be removed from the UK unlawfully, or that proceedings will be started first in another country, both urgency grounds for applying without a MIAM; our international family law pages explain the jurisdiction questions
• proceedings have already started: the court must consider at every stage whether non-court dispute resolution is appropriate, and in financial remedy proceedings must have regard to any failure without good reason to attend a MIAM or non-court dispute resolution when deciding costs

None of this makes mediation the wrong route; it means testing the agreement against the law before the consent order is signed.

How RakLAW Solicitors Can Help

RakLAW Solicitors is a firm of solicitors, not a mediation provider: the mediation itself is conducted by an authorised family mediator you choose from the Family Mediation Council register. We act for you alone, from 42 Shad Thames in Southwark, a short walk from Tower Bridge.

Before mediation we set out what the law provides, so you know the range within which a sensible agreement sits. Between sessions we review the disclosure and advise on each proposal, and where the mediator and your former partner agree we attend a hybrid mediation as your solicitor. Afterwards we draft the consent order and lodge the application.

The first step is a free 15-minute consultation: book an appointment or call 0203 345 2000. Our out of court options hub sets out the alternatives, and our financial settlements and children matters pages explain what a court considers if agreement fails.